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Yesterday a half day Magic: The Gathering tournament turned into a 15 hour monstrosity. Boredom, hunger, and smelly geeks ran rampant at the Oregon Convention Center in Portland.

Untrue statements issued by the tournament directors: 5
Hours wasted as a result: 7
Other players we met who left early for previous engagements: 4
Disgruntled emails sent to both the host company and the makers of MTG: 6
Dogs who missed us very, very much all day: 1

Sept. 14 – 17 was Oktoberfest in Mt. Angel, Oregon, the largest Oktoberfest outside of Germany. Conveniently, I work on the main street used for the event, so I was privy to the layout and whereabout of useful things like ATMs and porta-potties. I also knew where to get what type of food and which booth was cheapest, and I got a free parking pass and a free chicken dinner (1/2 chicken, corn on the cob, cole slaw, & pop). Work breaks were more entertaining, too, as I got to wander around and watch people of all ages in lederhosen.
So, when Saturday night rolled around and we rounded ten friends up to party at “Ofest 2006,” I knew all the shortcuts – its handy to be useful. Most of the night we spent in the Alpinegarten drinking dark German (Munich) stout and enjoying the Salzberger Echo, a polka band from Salt Lake City. I never knew polka could be so entertaining, but they played a high-energy set and kept everyone cheering and dancing. They yodeled, had a kids yodeling contest, and also had three alpine horns (think “Riiii-colaaaaa”), which were awesome in harmony. And Jen, Christina, and I went up on stage to ring cow bells…and I got a big part with the A-note bell! It was lots of accordianed fun!

UPDATE: Read my Aunt Linda’s comment; it should be on my list.  A resounding applause to her for her wonderful insight.

I can’t wait to move out of Salem because driving here is a BIG pain in the ass. Many say this is an exaggeration; many just don’t believe me. Believe me – I’ve driven in Denver, in L.A. (quite a bit), in Seattle, in Portland (quite a bit) – and driving in Salem is worse. I hate driving in Salem, and here’s why:

1. Many major thoroughfares do not have cascading stoplights. They don’t even have sensors.
2. Construction is ill-timed. For example, one of the major streets across Salem has been closed for 4 months (July-October) to widen a 10 yard bridge over a creek.
3. Drivers routinely cut you off just to drive 5-10 miles under the speed limit.
4. Slow drivers in the fast lane are oblivious to the 15 cars behind them that wish they’d move over.
5. School zones are 20mph from 7am – 5pm. Nary a car can be found at the rural elementary school I creep by daily at 7am and 4:15pm.
6. People who realize they’re about to miss their turn immediately stop regardless of lane and position and wait until they can make their turn. This happens often.
7. Eric says god damn white vans, and he’s right. The source of many a case of road rage is a van, frequently white.
8. Poor city planning. The only connection between Salem and west Salem feeds through downtown. The main connections between the cardinal directions of Salem are also through downtown.
9. The maximum turning speed is 5mph. Damn near stopped is perfectly acceptable. Blinkers are extremely optional.
10. Stopping in the middle of an intersection due to the light ahead of you turning red, thus preventing any and all cross-traffic from moving, is also perfectly acceptable. I witness this particular event daily on my way home, and I assume the people waiting for this on a daily basis just get pissed.

Hey sports fans! Pigskin action is here, and so are those ‘Must be football season’ Southwest commercials.

We started a pool at work, too – the torch passed from Jeff to me when he got a new job – so I enlisted the help of another guy and we’re joint commissioners. We currently have 12 players, which should make for a fun season. No spreads, just win/lose picks and whoever comes the closest, without going over, to the total points scored by both teams in the Monday night game. As the playoffs near, we’ll hafta come up with a more sophisticated pick system as ties will be more inevitable.

Grab your pizza, chips, beer, and TV remote – the gridiron has returned!