titansphere.com

You’ve got to be promising something pretty enticing to voluntarily get me out of bed at 7am on a Saturday, especially after a Friday night party.

As it turns out, french toast, eggs, and bacon with a glass of apple juice will do it.

Have you ever had that dream where you get really frustrated with someone because they won’t give you the answer you’re looking for, but then you realize the reason they can’t give you the answer is because your brain doesn’t know it?

1. I play video games.
2. I can sleep in on the weekends.
3. My dog is my child.
4. I live with roommates.
5. I rarely eat meals at regular times.
6. My schedule varies so widely that I try to avoid things that need regularity.
7. My ideal morning starts around 10am.
8. I do not have any flowered wallpaper in my house.
9. My family and coworkers still refer to me as “Kid.”
10. Older people don’t always understand my lingo.

1. I’m excited to go to the Home & Garden Show this weekend.
2. I have been for about 2 weeks.
3. I went to bed last night (a Friday) at 9:48pm.
4. I like to read the *gasp* actual physical newspaper.
5. Teenagers are looking younger and younger to me.
6. I don’t like the latest fashion or much of the latest music.
7. I cannot text faster than 20wpm.
8. I enjoy puttering around in my yard.
9. I take vitamins.
10. I play the stock market.

1.YOUR REAL NAME:
April Christine Greer

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)
(none) Dennis

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad)
Casimir Robert

4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Greap

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Green Dog

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Christine Whittier

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add “THE” to the beginning)
The Blue Milk

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Aper

9.ROCK STAR NAME:(current pet’s name, current street name)
George Feather Cloud

10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, mother’s maiden name)
Echo Rogucki

11.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Aprizzle

12.YOUR IRAQI.. NAME:(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name)
Pechileer

13.YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Snowflake

14. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
(none) Snickers

“…speaking of bastards, my sister is pregnant.” -Robert (coworker)

I am *so* disappointed I will never be able to use this line.

Okay, okay, this time the lead singer is the older sister of the younger girl. (Again, the boy is my god-nephew and the girls are his cousins.) The fans really make these, I have to say. The blowing hair is hilarious. The audio isn’t as good, but the boy really gets into it this time. The song is “Hot ‘n Cold,” by Katy Perry (who?).

This will be great for a future embarrassing moment! The lead singer is my god-niece and the boy is my god-nephew (my godparents’ grandchildren). The other girl is their cousin. They are rockin’ out to Carrie Underwood’s “Right Now.”

The Guy on the Couch is officially alive. He was officially missing (missing persons report and everything!), and presumed dead, for most of last week. But not by us; we’ve known his exact wheareabouts for almost an entire month.

Mr. Guy on the Couch does contractual work for the government doing a variety of environmental studies. Once he lived in coastal Oregon studying coastal birds’ use of old growth forest. Then he did land surveying in Canada (for the US government). Most recently he was in Wyoming, trapping, measuring, and banding eagles. In March he starts work studying sage grouse in northwest Nevada. All of this work happens in VERY remote areas with no services and no connection to the outside world. He lives in a tent most of the time and “roughs it” to the max.

Somehow, rumor got around – to his mom of all people – that he was missing, and it was reported to the police. Shortly thereafter he was presumed dead from the elements. I think the catalyst was a missed phone call earlier in the week.

Anyway, have no fear. The Guy on the Couch lives!

Honestly, I don’t have much interesting to say tonight. I had some very good chicken tacos for dinner just now. I still haven’t put up the pictures from Mexico yet. I just feel like vegging out and playing video games all night. Or perhaps watching some Prison Break (season 3) – I’m a season behind so don’t spoil it for me!

A joke for you (told to me by a Mexican): Why do the Mexicans refry the beans?